jeffs_blog

Obama Endorses Marriage Equality!

Wed, 09 May 2012 19:43:52 +0100

I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don't Ask Don't Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I've just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think SAME SEX COUPLES SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED. - President Barack Obama

Epiphany and Evolution

Tue, 08 May 2012 19:10:07 +0100

Mother’s Day is a difficult holiday for me, and it is challenging not only because my mom is now gone, but also because she passed away on Mother’s Day. This year will be the fourteenth anniversary of her death, but it seems like only yesterday. Anyone who’s lost a loved one knows how difficult these anniversaries can be. In the case of my mom, I don’t often struggle so much with birthdays and holidays anymore. I do think of her on these occasions, but they are not as emotional as they once were. Mother’s Day, though, is still challenging.

I’ve written quite a bit about my mom. I’ve posted blogs about her, talked about her in interviews, and have even written her into several of my stories. There are elements of Mom in my first novel Dumb Jock, and she is definitely represented in Trust Me. She is also in one of the stories in my Bullied anthology, and there are pieces of her personality that are included in all of my books.

The best parts of myself—the qualities of me that I actually like and am proud of—came from my mom. Generosity, compassion, forgiveness, sensitivity, kindness. I strive every day to be like her in these ways, to embrace these qualities and at a very minimum try to mirror her example. Sadly, I often fail.

The most powerful lesson that she taught me was authenticity. She hated hypocrisy and phoniness. She didn’t believe in putting on airs in order to fit in socially. She wasn’t materialistic and honestly did not care how much or how little other people possessed. She didn’t judge success based upon a person’s profession or social status, or upon how many degrees they had. She connected with other people emotionally, and she seemed to have an ability to look into their souls.

There are many ways that I’m different than my mom. She was extremely outgoing. She definitely was gregarious—she absolutely loved people. She liked crowds. She liked watching the behaviors of others. She fed off their emotions. Mom spent hours in the grocery store, talking to everyone she encountered. Driving through town, people honked and waved constantly. She was well known and loved, but she also had a knack at striking up conversation with complete strangers. She seemed to know exactly what to say, how to put others at ease.

It would logically seem that a woman as wonderful as this would have had no problem accepting that her son was gay. She always told me that I was unique, that I was special. She noticed the softer side of me. My gentle nature. Back when I was little kid, women used to only get their hair done once a week at a beauty parlor. Her appointment was always Monday morning, and so every Sunday night she would take down her “up-do” (similar to a beehive), wash her hair, and let me brush it for the longest time. When I asked for one of those Barbie styling heads for Christmas—the kind that looks like a bust, where you can do it’s hair and makeup—she got it for me.

It seems like she would have had some suspicion about me when I wanted an Easy Bake oven or when I went over to my female cousin’s house and played Barbie dolls with her for hours. When Mom caught me in her closet trying on her clothes playing dress-up, she must have had some clue about me. When I was in the third and fourth grade, I learned how to crochet and knit, and I made her afghans. I hated sports but wanted to learn to play piano. My bedroom walls were adorned with posters of Shaun Cassidy and Michael J. Fox. How could she not know?

I was nineteen when I finally came out to her, and it did not go well. Mom had indeed noticed all these things about me, but she told herself that I was just special. Because of the fact that I was so religious, she believed I was just different from other boys. She also did a lot of rationalizing. She assumed that I would eventually grow out of many of the girlish things I liked as a kid. Actually, she was right about that, to a degree. By the time I was in junior high I had pretty much figured out what was acceptable and what was not, and I tried very hard to modify my behavior in order to fit in.

My coming out to my mom was not one of those beautiful scenes you read about or see in movies where the parent says, “I love you no matter what” and everybody hugs. She flat out refused to accept that it was true. She quoted the Bible. She cried and told me that I had turned into someone she did not recognize. She said I was a monster.

We worked on it for several years. It was horrible, because I had always been so close to my mom. Eventually we got to a point where we pretended the issue did not exist. She pretended I was not gay and I pretended it did not bother me that she pretended. Finally when I was twenty-five, I couldn’t take it anymore. I called her and invited her to PFLAG. I said, “Mom, I love you and I don’t want to lose you, but if you force me to choose between being who I am and having you for my mother, I have to choose me.” She came to the meeting.

The parents who were in attendance at that meeting saw the qualities of my mom that I loved most. She opened up to them, told them the pain she had endured for so long. She confessed how she hated herself for what she had done to me. She thought that by allowing me to be who I was as a child that she had contributed to me being gay. She said she never should have bought me the girl toys. She should have made sure I spent more time with my dad learning how to hunt and fish and play sports. It became clear that the reason she had struggled so much with my sexual orientation was because she thought of it as her personal failure.

And in that meeting, she had her epiphany.

That was the beginning of her evolution. She met all these other parents who understood every single word she said. They did not judge her, but simply told their own stories. She saw that there was nothing she had done to make me gay. She had not failed me in any way. I had always been unique. I had always been “different” from the other boys because that was how I’d been created. And when she experienced this realization, it was an extremely intense thing.

After her meeting with the other parents she had to confront me. Of course I did not know what to expect. The thing that still sticks out in my mind about it was how upset she was about the fact that she had called me a monster. She begged me to forgive her for saying that to me. It seems kind of funny now, especially when you consider that nowadays it is exactly what millions of gay kids call themselves—thanks to Lady Gaga.

From that point forward, Mom became my biggest ally. She joined PFLAG. She gave newspaper interviews and went to the community college to talk about having a gay son. She went on to win an award from PFLAG for being Mother of the Year.

There was so much more to my mother than this one issue. I could go on for hundreds of pages about who she was and what her life meant. I’m going to continue striving to carry her goodness within me. I miss her every day, but especially on Mother’s Day, and I’ll always be grateful that I had her for my mom.

Why Is Obama Taking so Long to "Evolve" on Gay Marriage?

Mon, 07 May 2012 11:26:36 +0100

When Barack Obama was a senator from Illinois, before running for president, he strongly favored marriage equality. When he entered the presidential race, his position shifted to match that of all the Democratic candidates, including Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden. He stated that he favored equality for gay people, specifically supporting civil unions, but would not give a full-throated endorsement of gay marriage. He also condemned the Defense of Marriage law and called for its repeal.

After elected, Obama proceeded to do more for gay rights than any president in United States history. He signed into law hate crimes’ law, increased federal spending, appointed record numbers of openly gay staffers, signed into law legislation that gave gay domestic partners spousal rights when their partners are hospitalized, banned employment discrimination in government jobs, and most significantly he repealed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and replaced it with open inclusion of gay people in the military. He also spoke out against anti-gay bullying and held a White House summit on the topic.

Two years ago, Obama finally stated that his view on gay marriage was “evolving”. Yet still it is frustrating that he will not simply come right out and say he supports full marriage equality. Everybody knows that he is supportive of gay rights, so why won’t he just say the words?

This weekend, Vice President Joe Biden told David Gregory on Meet the Press that he does support marriage equality. The administration then immediately issued a statement that Biden was not speaking for the administration but was voicing his personal views. The whole thing is maddening!

But here is the deal. Prior to the Obama presidency, George Bush and Dick Cheney ran this country for eight years. Cheney, who has a lesbian daughter who is married, did not come out in support of marriage equality until after he was out of office. Laura Bush, the former president’s wife, came out with a marriage equality endorsement post-presidency. There is a very logical reason why they waited, and it is exactly the same reason why Obama minces his words now: swing states.

If Barack Obama gave a full-throated endorsement for marriage equality, the conservative super pacs would surely take a clip of his statement and make commercials which they would run in the conservative-leaning swing states. These include Ohio, Virginia, North Carolina, and several others. He won all these states in 2008, but by razor-thin margins. Although nationwide the majority of Americans now support marriage equality, this is not the case in these critical states. A barrage of attack ads which demonizes Obama as a radical liberal who wants to destroy marriage may be enough to cost him re-election.

If Barack Obama loses the election in November, we all lose. The GOP has never favored gay rights. Even the repeal of DADT was extremely partisan. Only a half dozen Republican senators voted for the repeal, in spite of the fact that three-fourths of the nation demanded that gay people be allowed to serve openly in the military. The Republican nominee, Mitt Romney, has aligned himself with the ultra-conservative wing of his party, promising to rubber stamp their social agenda.

My opinion is that as supporters of marriage equality, our best strategy at this point is to trust the president. His track record has shown he is worthy of our support. Post-election, I bet we will hear him endorsing marriage equality loud and clear. If he doesn’t get re-elected, though, we can count on the Republican administration and Congress to undo all the good that Obama has accomplished.

The Big One

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:38:48 +0100

I don’t pretend to be qualified to speak for all authors. In fact, I can’t speak for anyone other than myself. But I wonder if other writers have experienced the same emotional roller coaster that I seem to have every time I’m about to release another novel.

Everybody is aware of the handful of writers who struck it rich when they were snatched from depths of obscurity and suddenly skyrocketed to the top of the bestseller lists. Sometimes we scratch our heads and wonder why. What was it about that particular book that happened to strike a chord with readers? Was it a matter of exceptional talent? Was it just good timing? Was it because the writer happened to make the right connection with the right people? Maybe it was just that their manuscript ended up in the hands of someone who was in a position of power.

And then there are those books within our own tiny m/m sub-genre that do so much better than all the rest. A particular book releases, and almost everyone flocks to buy it. It then gets amazing reviews, and this prompts others to see what all the fuss is about. Almost instantly, the book’s a bestseller. Meanwhile, all the rest of us are wondering what that magical element was that made the book so special. Is it that the author possesses a talent that the rest of us lack? Is it that the book’s theme was timely or significant in some way that set it apart? Is it a matter of marketing? Or maybe it is something about the author him/herself that particularly appeals to the m/m audience.

Every time I release a book, I wonder if lightening will strike and this will be “the big one.” Does the book have the right title? Does it have the cover that is going to make readers stop and take a second look and say, “Hey, I want to read that”? Are the writing craft elements of the book up to par? Will it be well-received by the “fans” who already enjoy my work, and will it attract new readers? What will the reviewers say?

I think that with every book I publish, the grandiose illusions and fantasies lessen. It’s like when the Mega Millions jackpot grows to an astronomical amount and we let ourselves imagine what it would be like to win. We do not really expect to win anything when we buy that ticket, but we cannot help thinking “what if?”

In the early days of my writing, I was overjoyed to simply have another human being read my writing. I remember printing out my first manuscript and delivering it to a couple of my friends, then waiting with bated breath for their honest critiques. Even if they had told me that the book sucked, I would have still been overjoyed that they took the time to read it. Then when it was actually published, I started fantasizing about seeing my own books on the shelves of bookstores. I let myself dream about my work possibly being so well received that hundreds, even thousands, of people might look forward to reading anything I had written.

All of this might sound a bit arrogant, especially when you compare the fantasies to the reality. Whereas there has been some fruition of my dreams, and it is true that hundreds—even thousands—of readers have sampled my work, I certainly have not produced that one book which really blew everyone away. I still have not written my “Big One”.

I’m okay with this reality, though, and I hope that by admitting this I’m not coming across as being falsely modest. I read a lot, and that’s why I am a writer. I love books. I love reading. And I know when a book a good…at least to me. I know that my writing talent is not better than the other m/m authors in this genre. I know that my stories are no more deserving of recognition than the hundreds of other stories by equally talented (or better) authors than myself.

I also see the process in a much different light now than I did before I started publishing my work. Although I would be a hypocrite and a liar to state that I would not love to have one of my books become a smashing success, I don’t see this as a realistic path to my own success. Success in this business is all relative. To me, the steady increase in sales of my back list is enormously successful. The fact that I’m now selling more copies of my very first published book than I ever was before, is a huge accomplishment to me.

It never made the bestseller list, though. It never won an award. It doesn’t even make it into the Top 100 GLBT book lists at the end of the year. But several thousand people have read it. It maintains strong reviews, and as I release more books and more readers discover who I am, many of them go back to that first book and give it a try.

I also think that if I’d had that huge one-book-wonder success that I’d dreamt of, what would that have done to my subsequent writing? Would I have then had to always worry that my future books live up to that same level of success? Would I have to worry, even more than I do now, that my next novel would be a big disappointment to the fans who loved that first successful story? Would I have worked as hard to improve my writing skills, to learn the things that I needed to know in order to be a better writer?

And then I have to really focus and try to ground myself. I have to remember why I began writing in the first place. It never was because I yearned for fame. To be honest, I was terrified of fame. I was afraid to even share so much as a poem with my best friend. And although I will admit to anyone that making enough money to pay my bills is a lot better than relying on the local food bank to survive, I have never been one to fantasize about wealth. I honestly do not have a materialistic bone in my body and am pretty much repulsed by the people who flaunt their riches.

So if it is not about fame, and it is not about money,then why would it even matter to me if one of my books hit that literary jackpot and became enormously successful? I think to answer that question, I have to address it from the perspective of an artist. It is about the work. It’s always about the work. It is about sharing the work with others. It’s about touching the hearts of the reader and knowing I’ve had an impact upon their lives in the same way so many gifted authors have done to me.

Going forward, I will try not to obsess over whether or not my upcoming releases will be big or small. I’m just going to keep doing the only thing I know how to do: write stories that are meaningful to me. Hopefully these stories will affect readers in some meaningful way, and if that continues to happen, all my books will be “Big”, regardless of how many copies I sell.

Online Bullying is Still Bullying!

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 22:55:23 +0100

Imagine this scenario: you get ready to go out for the evening. It's a special occasion, and you want to look your best. You spend hours picking out your wardrobe, doing your hair, make-up, and accessories. You're feeling pretty good about yourself when you look in the mirror and see the finished project. When you arrive at the event, you meet several new people. You don't know them, but you're cordial. They speak to you, but then while you're still standing there, they turn and start talking to each other. They begin mocking you, laughing at your wardrobe. They joke about your hair, your make-up, and your shoes. They're extremely sarcastic, but they think they're being absolutely hilarious. Several of their friends walk over and join in on the conversation. Soon the whole room is talking about you, and you feel an inch tall. You leave, disgraced and humiliated.

Now, imagine this scene in an online environment on a social network. When you leave public comments, especially when they are a back-and-forth banter, and the person you are talking about can see what you are saying, how is this any different than bullying someone face-to-face.

Please think about how your words will affect others before you say them, be they comments spoken face-to-face or online.

Thank You!

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 17:20:29 +0100

To the numerous readers, authors, and friends who have emailed and messaged me over the past few days to express support, thank you so very much. I stuck up for a dear friend of mine after she had been mocked and ridiculed, and the result was that several of these same individuals then came after me, threatening that there would be a "Price to Pay" for what I had done.

To be honest, that's a little bit scary to me. I am now writing and editing full-time, and this is my sole livelihood. The very last thing I would ever want to happen is for my readers (and potential readers) to get the impression that I do not genuinely appreciate them. Over the years I have received a tremendous amount of feedback. I've gotten good and bad reviews. If you look at the reviews on Good Reads, Amazon, Shelfari, and elsewhere, you will find ratings ranging from one to five stars. I have never once responded negatively to any review or rating I've received, and I never will.

Do I think some readers are incompetent? That is the latest allegation based upon part of a quote I made on a public blog. The quote has been taken out of context, and I'd like to share the comment in its entirety here so that everyone can see I was never suggesting that all readers are incompetent. I wasn't even saying that any specific reader was incompetent. No names were ever mentioned. Here is the quote:

"Thanks for sharing this blog. I so agree! Just because someone has bought or read your book, this does not give them a right to be mean or insulting to you. So they didn't like your story? BFD! And having a Good Reads account does not instantly qualify someone as a literary expert. Isn't it enough to say you didn't like a story and why? Instead they made broad, sweeping characterizations, labeling authors as incompetent or amateur. Sometimes it is not the author who lacks competence but rather the reader."

As you can see, I was consoling and encouraging my friend who had just received a couple scathing reviews which were followed-up by a barrage of back-and-forth comments which were mean, snarky, sarcastic, and frankly just plain caustic. I do not claim to be a literary expert myself. I don't even have any formal education in this field. I simply write stories based upon what appeals to me and what moves me emotionally. I know some readers will enjoy the way I write and others will hate it.

I also read a lot of books and offer publicly-posted reviews. I do this as a service to other readers like myself who are always looking for good books to read. Most of the authors whose work I review are not people that I know personally. In fact, I tend to shy away from writing reviews of my friends to avoid a conflict of interest. I like to think that I am both fair and honest. I am also aware of my choice of words and make a concerted effort not to be snarky or mean-spirited. If another reader comments on a review of mine that is not particularly complimentary, I always respond by reminding them that the review is only my opinion and that they and other readers may very much enjoy the book. I do not tolerate remarks that are hurtful because I know that the exchange is public and will be there for all to see, including the author.

My personal policy is not to post a review of any book that I cannot at least award a 2 star rating. If the book was that bad, in my opinion, I feel I'm not the right person to be reviewing it. I do not expect all readers to adhere to that same policy. It is just my own personal standard.

Again, thank you so much for your continued support. Going forward, I will be adopting a new policy. When a friend of mine is hurting by publicly posted nasty remarks, I will be offering my support and encouragement privately. The message I was trying to convey originally--words can hurt--was interpreted by some as a broad-based criticism of all reviewers. I wish nobody any ill will, and I apologize to anyone who got the impression I was calling anyone incompetent.

Local Newspaper Features Article Highlighting Bullied

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 16:38:54 +0100

Oxford Township resident publishes book, donating proceeds toward anti-bullying organization

By Monica Drake

Oakland Press

April 7, 2012

Oxford Township resident Jeff Erno was cornered in the bathroom, and his head was flushed in the toilet by a group of kids.

This was just one of many instances where Erno was bullied in his school years. Now at 45, he has written and published a novel, available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble, to help those currently affected by bullying.

“What prompted me to write was the rash of teen suicides,” said Erno. “I felt like I needed to do something, and the only thing I really know how to do is write. So I pitched the idea to my publisher, and asked if they would publish this book of short stories. I would then donate the proceeds to an anti-bullying charity,” he said.

The book, appropriately titled “Bullied” and published by Dreamspinner Press LLC, is a compilation of fictional short stories inspired by Erno’s own experiences as a victim of bullying. The stories are written through the perspective of the victim, the bully, the bystander, the friend, a concerned parent and one story written in third person about a suicide.

Erno said he personally overcame the bullying by his faith. “It did help because I believed in something bigger than myself,” he said.

He said those who are being bullied need to find a place where they feel like they belong — whether it’s an accepting church or an after-school group.

“I've seen it where churches can make it worse because, if you have a kid who is gay and their church condemns them for that, then that will make their whole situation worse. It depends on what that faith is — if it's an affirming faith that will accept them or if they are going to be condemned,” he said.

Erno said from now until October 2012, all royalties from his novel will go towards the nonprofit The Trevor Project. The Trevor Project is a national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth.

The Trevor Project was named after an Academy Award winning short film called “Trevor” and is a comedy/drama about a gay 13-year-old boy who makes an attempt to take his life after he’s rejected by his family and friends.

As an openly gay may, Erno wrote in his book, “I can relate to the heartache, loneliness, suicidal ideation and utter helplessness that such torment causes ... My hope in releasing these stories is not to make a profit but to raise awareness and, more importantly, to possibly instill a sense of hope in the hearts of these many precious victims.”

Erno said he’s glad several schools are starting anti-bullying programs, such as the Oxford and Lake Orion School Districts.

“I think they're trying to make it more popular to be against bullying than to be a part of it. It's almost like peer pressure in a positive way,” he said.

FYI — For more information on Oxford Township author Jeff Erno, visit jefferno.com. To purchase his book “Bullied,” with all proceeds going towards the Trevor Project until October, search “Jeff Erno” on amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com. For more information on The Trevor Project, visit thetrevorproject.org. The Trevor Project also offers a 24-hour crisis hotline, 866-488-7386, for young people who are suicidal or in need of someone to talk to.

Author of the Month: Good Reads YA LGBT Group

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 03:08:40 +0100

I'm thrilled to be recognized as "Author of the Month" for April in the Young Adult LGBT Group on Good Reads. The group, which is open to readers of all ages who enjoy young adult fiction, provides a safe reading zone for LGBT youth.

The group's mission is stated as follows: For anyone who enjoys LGBTQ books written for young adults. We're a friendly, supportive group that provides a non-judgmental place to discuss the books you love and the topics that matter most to you.

Currently the group has approximately 900 members and features one "book of the month" along with an "author of the month". Discussion threads are open in the group forums where readers can talk about YA books they have read, and authors are afforded the opportunity to promote their own YA titles in the "self promotion" forums.

Throughout the month of April, my book, Dumb Jock, which happens to be my first published novel (2009), is being featured and has its own discussion thread. Group members are encouraged to leave comments and/or questions, and I will be dropping by throughout the month to interact and respond where appropriate.

I'm truly appreciative of this opportunity, and I hope that readers who are not currently enrolled as members of the group will check it out and consider joining. Overall it is a tremendous resource for readers and authors alike, and the bookshelf is one of the most expansive resource lists I've ever seen. http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/49526.YA_LGBT_Books

Welcome Laura Lee

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 05:47:27 +0100

I'm the author of the novel Angel and a dozen other books on topics ranging from Elvis Impersonation to the science behind annoying things. My most recent non-fiction title was "Broke is Beautiful."

The San Francisco Chronicle said, "Lee's dry, humorous tone makes her a charming companion… She has a penchant for wordplay that is irresistible."

What it Feels Like

Laura Lee

I recently was honored to have the opportunity to join in a book club discussion of my novel Angel, which tells the story of a male pastor whose career and self-image are challenged when he finds himself attracted to another man.

One of the discussion questions came from a gay man who wanted to know, “How do you know how it feels to be a gay man?”

The answer, of course, is I don't. I can only imagine what it feels like to be in my protagonist Paul's position just as I might imagine what it feels like to have children (an experience I have not had) or to be diagnosed with a life threatening illness or any other fictional situation I might want to write about.

When it comes to gender and sexuality it seems as though we get a bit distracted. There are many attributes that define any person but there are only certain ones that we tend to focus on as making up someone's identity. We think of a man as a different category of person from a woman. We are less likely to think of, say, an extrovert as being a different category of person from an introvert. Or a nervous person as a different category of human from a calm person. Yet these are all aspects of a person that influence how they think and behave.

The fact of the matter is I don't actually know what it feels like to be a “straight woman.” I don't know if I am typical of that category or not. I don't know if my heterosexuality is like other people's heterosexuality or if my femininity is like other people's femininity. I can't claim to know how it feels to be anyone but myself.

It would be terribly boring, though, if I only wrote about myself. Believe me, no one would be interested in reading that. So I do what any writer has to do. I trust that I can combine my observations of what other people do and say with my subjective experience of thinking and feeling and use that material to tell the story of a fictional person. I know how I feel and I take the chance that feeling things is fairly universal. Being attracted feels like being attracted-- not gay or straight attracted. Falling in love feels like falling in love-- not gay or straight falling in love. Worrying about social status feels like worrying about social status. Fearing rejection feels like fearing rejection. Jealousy feels like jealousy, and so on.

As I pictured my characters, I saw them as different from myself and distinct from each other. The two main protagonists each had their own quirks and fears and passions and foibles. I did try to make them authentically men. For example, Paul is a gentle man. He is in a caring profession that is in what is generally considered to be the “feminine” sphere of spirituality. Yet when he is under stress he often reacts by showing his temper, snapping at someone and regretting it later. When the second protagonist, Ian, is brought to tears he instinctively tries to hide it. This is also something a man would be more likely to do than a woman. But as I wrote, I didn't think about these things, I just thought about who Ian was and pictured the scene accordingly.

Had I done extensive research into how gay men as a group are supposed to feel, I think I would have been more likely to try to create characters that were meant to represent that research and be stand ins for all gay men. The result could easily have been a stereotype. Just as I do not know what it feels like to be a “straight woman” only to be myself, no individual gay man could possibly be typical of everything that is true of gay men as a group. That was the chance I took in writing. It is the chance that every writer has to take whenever she writes.

My Review of Angel:

Paul Tobit is a widowed, middle-aged minister of a mainstream denomination who is still coping with some personal grief issues after his wife dies from cancer. One day a beautiful young stranger shows up at the church, and Paul thinks that he may be an angel. Come to find out, the visitor is twenty-four year old Ian, a troubled alcoholic who is attending an AA meeting.

Eventually Paul and Ian connect, and Paul reaches out to help the young man. Ian goes into an alcohol rehab clinic, and afterward moves in with Paul at the parsonage. When Paul learns that Ian is gay, he has to confront his own prejudice and face the feelings that he is beginning to have for his house guest. A romance ensues, and the couple are then faced with the challenge of keeping their relationship secret lest an unforgiving and judgmental congregation find out the truth and expel them.

The beauty of this story is that it is unconventional in every way. It tackles several controversial themes including intergenerational relationships, homosexuality within religion, and the fluidity of sexual orientation. Initially Paul does not consider himself gay or even bisexual. I was impressed by the manner in which he discovered that love is love, and when this blessing occurs within one’s life, it truly is a gift from God.

There is no easy way to present a story about sexual orientation and religion. It seems no matter how the issue is broached, there will be someone who complains that the prose is “too preachy”. The novel did have a message, and if the reader allows her/himself to simply be swept away by the romance and by the intense emotion, the theme resonates. I was moved to tears throughout the story, and it reminded me of Brokeback Mountain. This is not to say that it is a light or easy read. It is heartbreaking actually, but very poignant.

Ian is my favorite character. He is so flawed and yet so beautiful. He’s cute and charming and self-effacing. I understood how Paul fell in love with him. I think I fell in love with Ian myself. I also understood the agony that Paul endured, trying to reconcile his own personal reality with the only profession he had ever known (and loved).

Of course, the villain in the story is homophobia, and it’s truly ugly. This aspect alone makes the book an emotional challenge.

This is an amazing debut novel—well written and edited, inspiring, uplifting, and thought-provoking. I don’t hesitate to recommend it highly. I would caution mm readers that the theme is quite deep and there are no graphic, intimate scenes. There also is not the typical HEA ending you’d expect to find in a classic romance novel.

Angel is a powerful story, one of the best reads I’ve enjoyed this year.

Trayvon Martin: Rest In Peace

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:00:52 +0100

Trayvon Martin, 17, was walking home from the 7-11 store on the evening of Feb 27^th. He was unarmed, carrying only a package of Skittles, an iced tea, and his cell phone. He was talking to his girlfriend on the phone and told her he thought someone was following him.

George Zimmerman, a middle-aged neighborhood watchman, was indeed following Trayvon. He had spotted him from his truck and called 911. He told the 911 operator that there was a suspicious looking man walking in his neighborhood. He identified the man as being black, and when the operator specifically told him not to pursue the man but to remain in his vehicle until the police arrived, Zimmerman said, “They always get away. Fucking coons.” He then proceeded to get out of his truck and follow Trayvon.

Another call was placed to 911 from a nearby resident who heard screaming and crying. She said that someone was crying for help. There then was a gunshot, and the crying stopped. The caller, later interviewed, said that the person who was screaming sounded like a young voice. She also said that because the person stopped crying after the gunshot, she assumed that the person crying for help was the person who had been shot, not the shooter.

When the police arrived, they found Trayvon Martin dead, shot in the chest. Zimmerman had a bloody nose and a gash on the back of his head. He claimed he was attacked by Trayvon and that he shot him in self defense. The police did not charge Zimmerman with a crime nor did they confiscate his weapon. They did, however, send Trayvon Martin’s body to the morgue and had it tested for drugs and alcohol.

An entire month has gone by, and the police still have not made an arrest. The attorney for Zimmerman initially claimed that his client would not be using Florida’s Stand Your Ground Law as a defense because it did not apply. The Stand Your Ground Law permits individuals to use a gun to defend themselves at any time they “feel threatened”. The very next day, the attorney changed the story, stating they had decided to use the defense after all.

Now several friends of Zimmerman have stepped forward seeking media interviews. They claim that Zimmerman was attacked by Trayvon Martin and that George Zimmerman was merely acting in self defense.

Zimmerman’s defenders also have released information that Trayvon had been suspended from school recently for possessing a baggie that appeared to contain marijuana residue. They also pulled a photo of Trayvon from his Facebook page where he was making a funny face, stating that his social media persona was not that of an innocent kid. They could find no direct quotes from Trayvon himself that would support their assertion that he was a thug, so they located a Twitter comment from Trayvon’s cousin in which he asked Trayvon if he had taken a swing at a bus driver. Of course, none of this was relevant.

Millions of people have responded to this senseless killing; marches and vigils are being held throughout the country. The outrage stems from the fact that this kid was pursued because the self appointed neighborhood watchman deemed him suspicious. The question is, what was suspicious looking about Trayvon? He was not under the influence of alcohol or drugs. He was not harassing anyone. He was not breaking into anyone’s car or home. He simply was walking down the street carrying a bag of Skittles and an iced tea.

Furthermore, the watchman was specifically advised by the emergency operator not to pursue the “suspicious” man because they were dispatching the police. He ignored the operator and muttered a racial slur before proceeding to do the exact opposite of what the authorities told him to do.

Trayvon Martin was under no obligation to stop and allow Zimmerman to retain him. He was under no obligation to subject himself to questioning by Zimmerman. If Zimmerman attempted to restrain him with force, it is reasonable to assume that Trayvon Martin may have used physical force to defend himself.

If I were walking down the street minding my own business and a man wielding a gun approached me and attempted to restrain me, I would assume he was a kidnapper. I would do everything in my power to resist him. Most likely, this is precisely what happened.

The worst thing about this case is that the police did not charge Zimmerman with any crime. They had a dead body. They had a man holding a murder weapon. They could see the victim was unarmed. They knew the victim was not under the influence of alcohol or drugs. They had the 911 tapes and the testimony of witnesses.

And now, a full month later, there are people speaking up to defend Zimmerman? And these same people are complaining that there has been a rush to judgment? A rush to judgment? It has been a month. The facts of this case can be investigated within a matter of minutes. What more is there to investigate? If there is some critical piece of evidence the police are not disclosing, they need to release it.

President Obama responded to the tragedy by expressing his condolences to the victim’s parents. He said that if he had a son, his son would look like Trayvon. Trayvon was pursued and then killed for one reason only: because he “looked suspicious.” The reason he looked suspicious was because he was “black” and a “fucking coon” in the words of the man who killed him.

Now people are saying President Obama is race baiting. WTF??? President Obama expressed sympathy to the parents of a 17 year old kid who’d just been shot. He stated he related to their loss, realizing that if he had a son himself that he would look just like the victim. His own son would be subject to this same sort of prejudice.

A person is not suspicious looking because of their skin color. They are not suspicious looking because they are wearing a sweater with a hood on it. Earlier today I looked out my window and a girl wearing a hoodie was walking by. Was I supposed to assume she was suspicious because of what she was wearing?

Geraldo Rivera of the Fox News channel has asserted that the real culprit in this tragedy is not the man who shot Trayvon Martin. Rivera says that the cause of the crime is the hoodie. He went on to urge parents of black or Latino children not to allow them to wear hoodies. Are you kidding me??

Trayvon Martin did not die because he was wearing a hoodie. He did not die because he was committing a crime. He did not die because he at one time had a baggie in his possession that may have contained marijuana. He is dead because a man saw that he was black and assumed that made him suspicious. A man who was supposed to be a neighborhood watchman but was toting a gun—which in and of itself is a violation of the neighborhood watchman standards. A watchman is not a man who pursues and shoots—a watchman is a man who watches!

I’m angered and saddened by this tragedy, and I’m even more furious about the fact that dissenting voices have begun to emerge, attacking the victim. I cannot believe that the police department of Sanford, Florida still has not made an arrest. I cannot believe that the people who are most vocal about defending the rights of a fetus are the same people who have remained silent about this senseless murder of a living and breathing human being. And the most shocking thing of all is that there are a growing number of voices who have begun pointing their fingers at those who are outraged by this racism. By some sort of twisted logic they have concluded that the people who are speaking out against racism are the ones who are racist.