Jeff's Blog

I know I’m gay because I’m attracted to men, not women. In fact, I’m so far to the right on the Kinsey scale that I’m practically off the page. And during childhood, I demonstrated every possible indicator and foreshadowing of my sexual orientation. Frankly, I’m shocked that some in my family were surprised when I finally came out.

That being said, I have to confess I’m not a very good Gay. Although I had a lot of gay friends and acquaintances in my 20s and 30s, I eventually became distanced from what I used to think of as the Gay Community. By the age 27, I completely lost interest in going to gay bars. I have never liked dinner parties. I don’t like dancing, especially not the kind in gay clubs, and I like the dance music played there even less.

I abhor pretentiousness. I hate pretending to be someone I’m not. I don’t like it when people pretend to have read books they’ve never read, or when they pretend to be worldly and well-traveled when they’re not. I hate when people name drop and pretend to be well-connected. Most of all, I hate when people work really hard at presenting themselves as being affluent.

I have zero interest in pop culture or celebrity gossip. I would drive a nail into my skull before watching an episode of TMZ or any of the mindless reality TV shows that are popular. I couldn’t care less about Britney Spears of Beyonce or any divas.

I don’t give a rip about fashion or designer labels. I don’t care where a person bought their handbag or shoes, and I care even less what designer’s name in on them. In fact, I think it’s a colossal waste of money to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on something just for the sake of status or name recognition.

I’m not materialistic. I know lots of people say this, but I can honestly say that in my case, it’s true. I would never own a flashy or expensive car. I don’t have a nice home, expensive furniture, or a huge wardrobe. Never wanted jewelry, and I don’t own any. I never strove to be rich. I broke up with my second boyfriend because he judged people for what they had, not who they were. He used to say “he doesn’t have a pot to piss in,” and he and his dinner party friends would laugh or smugly raise their eyebrows.

I also despise the gossip, sitting around and dishing other people behind their backs. Snark, they call it. I call it meanness. To me, there’s nothing funny about humiliating and degrading other people. “That guy has a unibrow.” “That woman is squeezed into a dress that looks like two pigs fighting.”  “He looks like his wardrobe came from Walmart.”

My favorite music is country, boy bands, and religious songs. I love cooking and baking. I’m passionate about progressive politics.  I love reading, though almost never non-fiction. I’m terrible with trivia but know a lot about history, civics, geography, and religion. I’ve memorized the globe and can name every country and capital, can list every president. But overall, I’m not that smart. I don’t have much artistic talent but love to do certain crafts. I enjoy crochet and cake decorating. I like reading and writing very romantic stories with happy endings, doing kind things for other people, and singing along to musicals.

I’m a terrible Gay. I don’t like fashion, designer labels, dance, gossip, jewelry, material things, status, pretentiousness, TikTok videos, or snark.  I’m an overweight, insecure, middle-aged nerd who doesn’t have a pot to piss in. Am I really gay at all?

I know I’m gay because I’m attracted to men, not women. In fact, I’m so far to the right on the Kinsey scale that I’m practically off the page. And during childhood, I demonstrated every possible indicator and foreshadowing of my sexual orientation. Frankly, I’m shocked that some in my family were surprised when I finally came out.

That being said, I have to confess I’m not a very good Gay. Although I had a lot of gay friends and acquaintances in my 20s and 30s, I eventually became distanced from what I used to think of as the Gay Community. By the age 27, I completely lost interest in going to gay bars. I have never liked dinner parties. I don’t like dancing, especially not the kind in gay clubs, and I like the dance music played there even less.

I abhor pretentiousness. I hate pretending to be someone I’m not. I don’t like it when people pretend to have read books they’ve never read, or when they pretend to be worldly and well-traveled when they’re not. I hate when people name drop and pretend to be well-connected. Most of all, I hate when people work really hard at presenting themselves as being affluent.

I have zero interest in pop culture or celebrity gossip. I would drive a nail into my skull before watching an episode of TMZ or any of the mindless reality TV shows that are popular. I couldn’t care less about Britney Spears of Beyonce or any divas.

I don’t give a rip about fashion or designer labels. I don’t care where a person bought their handbag or shoes, and I care even less what designer’s name in on them. In fact, I think it’s a colossal waste of money to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on something just for the sake of status or name recognition.

I’m not materialistic. I know lots of people say this, but I can honestly say that in my case, it’s true. I would never own a flashy or expensive car. I don’t have a nice home, expensive furniture, or a huge wardrobe. Never wanted jewelry, and I don’t own any. I never strove to be rich. I broke up with my second boyfriend because he judged people for what they had, not who they were. He used to say “he doesn’t have a pot to piss in,” and he and his dinner party friends would laugh or smugly raise their eyebrows.

I also despise the gossip, sitting around and dishing other people behind their backs. Snark, they call it. I call it meanness. To me, there’s nothing funny about humiliating and degrading other people. “That guy has a unibrow.” “That woman is squeezed into a dress that looks like two pigs fighting.”  “He looks like his wardrobe came from Walmart.”

My favorite music is country, boy bands, and religious songs. I love cooking and baking. I’m passionate about progressive politics.  I love reading, though almost never non-fiction. I’m terrible with trivia but know a lot about history, civics, geography, and religion. I’ve memorized the globe and can name every country and capital, can list every president. But overall, I’m not that smart. I don’t have much artistic talent but love to do certain crafts. I enjoy crochet and cake decorating. I like reading and writing very romantic stories with happy endings, doing kind things for other people, and singing along to musicals.

I’m a terrible Gay. I don’t like fashion, designer labels, dance, gossip, jewelry, material things, status, pretentiousness, TikTok videos, or snark.  I’m an overweight, insecure, middle-aged nerd who doesn’t have a pot to piss in. Am I really gay at all?