It seems a popular sport amongst many of the people with whom I’ve associated over the years to bash country western music. Growing up, I was deeply religious and was part of the Christian fundamentalist community, where country music often gets a very bad rap. When I took voice lessons and sang in the choir, the instructor often berated country music, saying that they “slid into the note” and used improper grammar.

As a teenager, my peers of course hated country music. They joked about the simplistic themes, the repetitive chords and the hillbillyish drawl of country singers. It was certainly not cool to be a country fan then, and throughout the 80’s I often hid deep in my country closet.In the Gay community, country music also is often a target of harsh criticism. I remember years ago asking one of my openly gay friends if he liked country music, and he looked at me as if I were from outer space. “No,” he laughed. “I listen to dance music!”

As may be apparent, I was not a bit saddened by the focus upon country music during this year’s American Idol season. In fact, I was overjoyed, and my two absolute-favorite contestants made it all the way to the finale.  Still, on the Internet and elsewhere, I constantly hear griping and complaining about it. I still hear the condescension and arrogance of the extremely vocal, know-it-all critics who continue to make fun of people like me who love country music for what it is: music from the heart.

I can easily rattle off a list of reasons why it seems contradictory for an openly gay, middle-aged, far left-leaning Democrat such as myself to appreciate country music. I realize that it has often been associated with conservative political views (e.g. Toby Keith, Hank Williams Jr, et.al). I understand that the country fan base is often viewed as backwards and redneck and not exactly what you’d consider open-minded and progressive in any way. I am just as disgusted by the so-called patriotic country songs which mock our President and that espouse a very narrow view of what the term “family values” actually means. I do not agree with the statements made within many country songs which promote gun rights and war and that make fun of those of us who genuinely care about the environment.Yet I also refuse to abandon my belief that country music is much bigger than all of these things. Country music is not about who you vote for, how you dress, or where you go to church. It is not about excluding or criticizing people who think of believe differently. It is not about promoting religion or politics or even any given lifestyle. Country music is about opening your heart and sharing what you feel.

Whereas I do not pretend to speak for all country music fans, and I certainly do not try to paint country music with one broad brush, I want to share with you why a guy like me really does love this brand of music:

1)      The male country stars are the hottest men on the planet! Consider Tim McGraw and Brad Paisley, for example. They’re physically fit, sporting killer physiques, and they have such deep, resonating voices. In their tight jeans and cowboy hats, they are any gayboy’s wet dream. How can you look at a man like Kenny Chesney and not admit that he’s sexy (with or without a tractor)?

2)      Female country singers are our divas! I’ve always been mesmerized by Dolly and Reba, but they are barely the tip of the iceberg. Growing up, I idolized these queens of country music. Tammy Wynette, Loretta Lynn, Patsy Cline, etc. etc.etc, have been my heroines. And please tell me, how is this so different than Cher, Madonna, or Bette Midler? Don’t all gay men love their divas?

3)      Country music touches upon emotional themes in much the same way as my writing. Chances are, if you do not appreciate a heart-breaking country ballad, you won’t much care for my books. I’m touched by the perfect combination of a tender melody and a soul-stirring lyric. A poignant country song will bring tears to my eyes, and in some cases it is solely the voice of a gifted country singer which can move me.

4)      Country music is eclectic and it embraces diversity in a way that even pop music does not do. It is the one style of music which can evolve into literally anything. Country stars perform the sappy ballads right alongside the upbeat dance tracks. They incorporate rap, jazz, rock, blues, soul, gospel, and even some classical into their songs.

5)      Country music is, in a word, storytelling. And I’m a story teller myself.  Just like me, country uses real life experiences to weave tales.  A good musical story can inspire. It can motivate, move one emotionally, or simply relax the listener. It is entertainment and inspiration rolled together into a work of art. Lyrically, country music is fabulous wordsmithing.

6)      Country is real. Yes, it does involve artistry and a bit of acting. It does include projecting and maintaining an image for the audience, as is the case with all forms of entertainment. But the bottom line is that country music is thematically about the real-life issues that affect all of us. It is about happiness and pain, achievement, loyalty, patriotism and honor. It is about small things in our day-to-day lives as well as big things such as love of country and faith. Basically, it is an avenue by which we communicate heart-to-heart.

7)      Country music reminds me of my roots. When I hear about mom and dad and small-town living, I’m reminded of my own home town. I remember a time when businesses were not open twenty-four hours and holidays were spent with family. I remember backyard barbeques and homemade potato salad. I remember the details of small-town America.

8)      Most significantly, I love country music because of the connection that I feel when I listen to it. It transports me to a place in my life where the people I loved most were still within my life. My mom was a huge fan of country, and although as a kid it often embarrassed me, I now understand her passion. I love country for all of the same reasons she did, and when I hear a particularly gifted artist today, I stop and say to myself, “Wow, mom would have loved that song.”

This is why I love country music. This is why now, finally, I’m not ashamed to stand up and say proudly that I’m an openly gay man and also a huge fan of country music. I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive… especially not when you consider the lyric, “Save a horse, ride a cowboy.” Now what about that song is NOT gay??